Little things I do disappoint me. I let myself down by doing things I shouldn’t. My moral compass gets compromised by tiny moments of weakness.
I couldn’t resist her though. I had already spent the evening and early hours getting to know this American woman. I had danced for hours with her. She had taught me to keep my hips in sync with hers. The music flowed through me and connected me to her.
Her eyes told a story of a woman who wanted to be free in the moment. Who was I to deny her of that.
It was around the 5am when we left the outside club in Lisbon. We had spent the past thirty minutes all over one another. We were caught in the moment. There was so much lust and passion that time was no longer a factor; it had become obsolete.
Whilst we were fooling around on a grass area away from everyone she briefly paused from my lips to tell me she had a boyfriend and they were having a bad patch in the relationship. I hesitated and stared her in the eyes as I tried to process what she had said.
As I lay over her with my eyes fixated on hers she tells me that she loves the way I kiss her. I take one glance down at her plump soft lips before looking back into her eyes. She looks at me before closing her eyes before reaching in for another kiss. From then on it could have only gone one way.
I didn’t realise it at first but after reflecting this night/morning I realised that I am just as bad as her for not stopping what happened. I would be distraught if I was her boyfriend back in America and another man had his hands all over my girlfriend. I ignored my morals and gave into my impulsive feelings. That makes me weak.
Perhaps another time I will have more self control and I will think to put myself into somebody elses position. For now I guess I’ll let karma hand me my comeuppance on this one.