Little Things

Little things I do disappoint me. I let myself down by doing things I shouldn’t. My moral compass gets compromised by tiny moments of weakness.

I couldn’t resist her though. I had already spent the evening and early hours getting to know this American woman. I had danced for hours with her. She had taught me to keep my hips in sync with hers. The music flowed through me and connected me to her.

Her eyes told a story of a woman who wanted to be free in the moment. Who was I to deny her of that.

It was around the 5am when we left the outside club in Lisbon. We had spent the past thirty minutes all over one another. We were caught in the moment. There was so much lust and passion that time was no longer a factor; it had become obsolete.

Whilst we were fooling around on a grass area away from everyone she briefly paused from my lips to tell me she had a boyfriend and they were having a bad patch in the relationship. I hesitated and stared her in the eyes as I tried to process what she had said.

As I lay over her with my eyes fixated on hers she tells me that she loves the way I kiss her. I take one glance down at her plump soft lips before looking back into her eyes. She looks at me before closing her eyes before reaching in for another kiss. From then on it could have only gone one way.

I didn’t realise it at first but after reflecting this night/morning I realised that I am just as bad as her for not stopping what happened. I would be distraught if I was her boyfriend back in America and another man had his hands all over my girlfriend. I ignored my morals and gave into my impulsive feelings. That makes me weak.

Perhaps another time I will have more self control and I will think to put myself into somebody elses position. For now I guess I’ll let karma hand me my comeuppance on this one.

Time

Everyone is bound by time

Trapped by the clock hands of life

People forget that the game of life shouldn’t be a race against the clock

It should be immersing yourself into an array of experiences

Enable youraelf to forget the loud chimes of the bells ringing as another hour passes by –

Make mistakes

Take a chance on new people

Wander not wonder

Make stories that last a lifetime

Italy

So as it stands I am writing this on my last night in Italy during my little European excursion. I honestly cannot praise this country enough for the experience they have provided me with over the past few days. 

I was always looking forward to this visit as the architecture and the scenery is utterly stunning. I wasn’t disappointed at all. 

I fell in love with their language, their women – the U.K. only have women that are hidden behind two inches of make up – and their culture. 

I liked that many Italians has poor English too. This encouraged me to pick up their language immediately to enable me to have the best experience. One of my favourite things to do when visiting a country is to speak their language. I love this as they are pleasantly suprised by the fact you made an effort and you delivery it with a smile. 

As a whole, I would come back and backpack this beautiful country properly next time. I think this would something nice to do with a better half for a month or so as there is so much to see and do. Perhaps I’ll fit it in between time off from uni next year. 

Anyway, I have France to look forward to now so I’ll have to love and leave you for now. 

Only One Sin

“There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft. When you kill a man, you steal a life… you steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness… there is no act more wretched than stealing.”

– Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

I’m not sure why this resonated with me so much. When I was sat in the park reading this book yesterday I stopped to think about what I had just read. I am amazed that I have never had this perspective of theft and sins.

This will be the the first thing I ingrain into my children – well, that and the fact to remember we are all pink on the inside. I hope they they will remember this before they make rash or selfish decisions.

As for myself, this quote seems to be a timely reminder that I need to adjust my moral compass. Of late I have been guilty of this sin. I have deceived people and I have lied. Ultimately by doing this I have not only cheated various people, I have cheated myself out of precious time for a momentary fix.

Hopefully after this period of reflection that I will remember to be less self absorbed. I also hope that I learn to have more consideration for other people in my decision making.